The first industry reviews are out. It’s barely twelve hours until the first one in the team watches the film. And a little more than 36 hours since the rest of the world does. What does it feel like right now, you ask us?? What does it feel like to wait on the edge of a precipice, waiting for the storm to hit?? What does it feel like to wait at the edge of a vast field, with nowhere to run, watching the sky darken on the horizon?? What does it feel like, in those last few moments before the door opens into a magical new world?? We don’t know for sure.
It’s been three very short, long years. Three of years of waiting outside the barred doors like everyone else, salivating over meagre bits of information dropped carelessly by the lucky few. Minutely dissecting all available and painstakingly constructing our own landscape. Tears of frustration, and sleepless nights plagued with anxiety. Fanatical worrying about his safety. About the scope of the canvas. About the vastness of the risk they were undertaking. And wondering, always wondering if the world will repay the integrity of their vision.
We have no answer to the last question yet, and probably will not for some time. They have slaved and laboured and fought. The entire team of the film has worked towards one single goal – to make the movie the best they could. The film is not just close to their hearts, it’s a piece of their souls. An endeavour crafted to the highest levels of excellence they could aspire to. Crafted, moulded and chiselled to a template only they could dare to lay claim to. Do you term this as hubris?? Should they not have attempted to scale a mountain unworthy of us?? Or do you laud their courage? Hail their unswerving motivation to create something on the country’s cinematic canvas which has hitherto been considered a folly of the worst kind?
We have all been going about our normal lives, performing the same activities, going through the motions of life with as much attention as we normally spare. But in our heads, in our hearts, it’s all still. We’re waiting for the dam to burst, for the hurricane to hit, for the sky to rend asunder. We are hoping for thunder, and lightning and the vindication of three long years of toil and pain and unrelenting commitment on their part. We pray that when the dam breaks, the resulting rush will sweep away all doubts and cynicism. We need to know that all the doubts against them will have been proven to be unfounded. They MUST win.
What is our stake in all this?? The stake any one has in in the happiness of someone they love. Do we care about box office numbers?? Not really. Do we need to feel vindicated by him being crowned No. 1, whatever it may signify? Do we judge him by the number of blockbusters he delivers or the number of box office records he breaks? No.
But we need to see that sparkle in his eyes, that radiance on his face that speaks of another fear mastered, another pinnacle conquered. We need that clear, happy laugh which speaks of his victory over all the obstacles that stood between him and his vision. That quiet smile that signifies peace within and joy at having his dream come true. And that means the film needs to perform exceedingly well. Will it? We don’t deal in predictions, or possibilities. What has to happen will happen.
As for us, we hope. And wait.